11 January 2011

VID: Introduction & Why Come Out?

First of all, can I just say that I HATE watching myself or listening to myself?? This is going to take some getting used to. Anyway, please leave questions on my channel or blog that you'd like me to consider addressing in these videos. Also, I am a much better writer than speaker, so forgive me.

7 comments:

Kiley said...

Hey nice to see you! I think what you said about ignorance persisting because so many are in the closet is true. I think the more of us that come out the safer it will make it for others. Thank you for your bravery!

FindingMyWay said...

You're just adorable! I'd like to put you in my pocket. ; )

You did a great job with this video and you're a great speaker! Keep up the great work. I always enjoys your posts.

Duck said...

Hi, Jon. I enjoyed your video very much. You have a gentle and kind presence when you speak and I felt the things about which you spoke. You said several things I found to be quite profound. I liked your statement: "I want to be the resource I wish I had had." I am hopeful that this is the reason why many MoHos blog- to be resources for others going through what they already have been through.

And, your main question that you addressed, asked by your father, about why are you coming out? Your answers were well thought out and logical. I liked that.

A couple of years ago, I was on a trip with my sister. We were talking about my being gay, etc., and she asked the same question, "I don't understand why people have to come out and say they are gay. Why don't they just keep it private?"

I told her this: "As a gay person, and especially one in the church, your whole life you have been told how awful gay people are, and how sinful being gay is. It creates such a point of contention for your soul- you love the church, but you also love yourself, and you are gay. This thing you love, the church, tells you these things about your life that make it hard to live with yourself sometimes. You can become very suicidal over it all. To finally be able to say to people, 'I am gay' relieves all that tension and stress of having had to bottle up who you are your whole life. It is freeing. It is not that I am trying to throw my sexuality in anyone's face by saying 'I am gay'. I just want people to understand where I have been in this whole figuring out what to do with who I am."

She was very touched and said that she could see that and that it made a lot of sense to her.

Thank you for all you do to help others bridge the gap between who they are, what others' expectations of them are, and learning to love and accept themselves. You do a stellar job.

Love and respect, always.

Jonathan Adamson said...

@Kiley- I feel like I know you already, I always enjoy your blog =)

@Finding My Way- Wow, I'm glad you made a comment otherwise I'm not sure I would have come across your blog! I look forward to reading, and thanks so much for your compliments.

@Duck- As always, thank you for your kind, positive words. Something I didn't talk about in the video is that heterosexuals don't need to "come out" because it is assumed and expected. So they don't always realize how much orientation is a part of our identity and everyday life. I'm glad that your sister seems to look for understanding.

Steven Lester said...

It is too bad that I will never meet you in person. You have a quiet and approachable spirit about you, and a nice, even shy, smile. How could anybody dislike you, even if they knew that you were gay...in the Church or anywhere else? Perhaps I could stop by and say hi after we both croak. I would like that.

I do still have a couple of questions that you said you'd tell us about. Why is 1-11 such a significant date for you? Is that date right around your birthday and when you decided to come to terms with your sexuality?

Now that I have a clearer picture of who you are, I'm feeling even more the total tragedy your suicide would have been, although had you completed your planning I would never have "met" you at all and never known.

By the way, I grew up in Burbank, California, and lived there until I was 30, if you ever wondered.

Jonathan Adamson said...

@Steven- Thanks for the kind words. And if indeed we do not meet in person before we "croak" I would definitely be up for saying hi after :) Also, I grew up in Tustin and Corona. I will answer your other question in a video later.

kearyda said...

Aloha Jonathan!
Got your family letter, just opened it today! Congrates on Graduation from B
YU! and especally congrates on finding yourself in this crazy world! Nobody ever said it would be easy ... you know the saying. Being in Hawaii has been an amazing experience! your welcome to visit anytime,although I'm not sure McDonalds has much of a vacation program! Ha Ha! Your still family, all is good, sorry you've experience such great challenges this last year. So whats the big deal anyway? No sweat. We have a few LDS Gay friends here in hawaii and I find them to be some of the most wonderful amazing people! Count yourself to be among the most amazing people I know. I must confess, ever since you were young Uncle Keary did tease privately that little Jonny seemed Gay and thought it to be humorous how your mother wouldn't allow you to get dirty and play hard with other boys or do boy activities. who'd of known? Having moved out of state, I haven't been close to you for many years and regret the opportunity to watch you grow up. Uncle Scott called me yesterday to see if I opened your letter and I hadn't .... so I asked him "Why? is it his coming out letter?" I laughed out loud and Scott confirmed and we laughed together! No real surprises. So I got into your letter and here I am! Does it change anything No. I'm a Massage Therapist here in Hawaii and provide services to people of all walks of life. Gay men like the massage touch of a man ... I'm straight and don't particularly like to be hit on by Gay men but live and let live. I give a healing touch to anyone who needs rejuvenation and healing. In fact I could link you to men I know who graduated from BYU and came out after graduation same as you! you are years behind following their path!
I hope the family is open minded as I am. I really don't know that coming out is going to change things much in the family. I hope they are all supportive, some may not ... don't worry about it. I love you and so does my wife and kids, no judgement no worries ... be who you are ... enjoy your life and be happy! I couldn't imagine being straight in a gay world ( I REALLY LOVE WOMEN ... ALOT! I COULDN'T LIVE LIFE WITHOUT THAT CONNECTION!)so I'll be supportive in any way I can! Peace out live well!

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