11 January 2011

PE: Coming out to extended family

So tonight I am sending out a newsletter via email to aunts and uncles on both sides of my family... there are 12 total, but I don't have everyone's email. It doesn't matter how many times I've told someone about my being gay, it is always scary. There is no way of knowing how people will react or how it will affect your relationship with them. It may be the last I hear from some of them. I may never be invited over again. I don't know. It could spark debate within my extended family... arguments even.

Can you understand why so many choose to never tell their family? The church talks about homosexuality as if it is the cause of the destruction of the family, but that frankly isn't the case. The only reason why this issue divides families if because members feel like they have to choose between the church or their loved one. If you took the church's stance out of the equation, there would be a lot less families divided over the issue.

The only reason I have waited until now to tell them is the fear of how they might react. I had to wait until I graduated just in case they decided to take matters into their own hands. I know lots of gay members who, after telling family, were reported to their bishops and kicked out of BYU. Of course their family member thought they were doing what was best for them, but that just drives me crazy. Well, now that I am officially graduated, that isn't a concern. Plus, I plan on talking to a bishop in the next couple months anyway. I am not seeking to live a double life at all. I will be straight-forward and honest with everyone.


Anonymous said...

Hello Jonathan Adamson. So nice meeting you!

Good luck with telling your extended family. I admire you. I have told a few people in my family, and, so far, it has gone well. The ones I do not tell, well, it is because they would take a shot-gun to me, and I like living.

again, thank you for your blogging. You really are amazing and I am so glad I happened upon your blog!

Love and respect, always.

Steven Lester said...

I don't know if you have already sent the email by the time I post this, but taking a poll might be a better thing to do first, just to find out how certain people might react to the direct posting of the awesome news, sort of like you did with your own nuclear family. I would also call up Mom and find out her take on the project, before you send anything out. She knows these people probably a lot better than you might and so would have some appropriate suggestions for you as you possibly thrust your head into the proverbial noose with some of these people. Take notes.

I figured out that Jonathan was your first name from the clues you left me. What a great name you have. The consummate friend in the Bible. I am looking forward to the video where all will be revealed, including the why behind this date. I so enjoy writing responses to your blog.

Steven Lester said...

Might we also know what discipline you studied at BYU? Nuclear Science? Animal Husbandry? Pre-Law? Biology for an eventual Medical degree? Some sort of math thing?

By the way, the now-eldest son of Elder Wickman teaches at BYU. His name is Matt, my old friend from way back, at least until he got married when it simply disappeared in a single day. A smarter boy or man I have never met.

Jonathan Adamson said...

@Steven- I actually did talk to my parents before sending the email. They knew I was doing it and read it before I sent it. They didn't try to advise me though. My mom just supported me and complimented my letter. She did call one of here sisters to tell her herself though, which was fine.

I will definitely answer your questions in one of the next videos I do. Thanks for asking :)

jen said...

Hello Jonathon!
I feel proud of you for sending the email. Much of my extended family doesn't even know I'm divorced, because I am too scared to tell them THAT about me... Let alone anything else...

Thanks for being brave!

Jonathan Adamson said...

@Jen- thanks :) I will have to write an update on how all that went.

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