02 March 2012

PE: The Church's Response to my Letter

I got a letter from the church today. Here is what is read:

Dear Brother Adamson:

I have been asked to acknowledge your recent letter in which you request that your name be removed from the membership records of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints.

I have also been asked to inform you that the Church considers such a request to be an ecclesiastical matter that must be handled by local leaders before being processed by Church employees. Therefore, your letter and a copy of this reply are being sent to President Edward L. Schollenberger of the Provo Utah YSA 13th Stake. He will have Bishop Dennis W. Fisher of the Provo YSA 188th Ward contact you concerning the fulfillment of your request.

In view of the eternal consequences of such an action, the Brethern urge you to reconsider your request and to prayerfully consider the enclosed statement of the First Presidency.


Confidential Records

Why can't they simply honor my request? This Bishop was the source of a lot of pain in the past. It was back when I was at BYU... over a year ago! I have nothing to say to that man. He was very indecent to me... and that was when I still wanted to strengthen my belief in the church. In the pamphlet that came with the letter, "An Invitation," one of the sentences that made me chuckle a little was, "We invite you to partake of the happiness you once knew." That so-called happiness led me on the path to suicide. I would have to be crazy to go back.


A.J. said...

they send everyone the same letter you are out. You have no need to talk with the Bishop. Congratulations! Life will only get better.-A.J.

jimf said...

> Why can't they simply honor my request?

More or less the same reason you can't terminate a cable TV
contract without having to spend half an hour listening to
all the special discounts the cable company will give you
if you'll just change your mind. At least in this case,
you don't have to "stay on the line" in order to make sure
that the bills will actually stop. ;->

> This Bishop was the source of a lot of pain in the past.

Don't subject yourself to the (pointless) stress of having
this guy explain (with all the sensitivity, no doubt, that he
exhibited in the past) the "eternal consequences" of your decision.
You know he's going to rub salt in all the wounds he can
think of.

Don't play the game. You've made your intentions clear;
now just ignore them.

(Many organizations, by the way, are as difficult, or more
difficult -- even dangerous -- to leave.
http://leavingscientology.wordpress.com/how-to-leave/ ).

Anonymous said...

When I sent my letter of resignation, I was getting called by the Ward Clerk of the Stake President asking to schedule a meeting with me and him about my decision to leave The Church. I was very firm (and kind) by saying I was not interested in meeting with him; I just wanted a formal letter from Church Headquarters informing me that my name has been removed from the records.

They have no need to meet with you other than to try to change your mind or ask you to come back. Be strong in your decision. You know it's the right one for your life. You'll get that formal letter soon enough. For me, it was a couple months. The Church seems to drag their feet on this kind of issue.

jen said...

You don't have to meet with the bishop - even if the church thinks you should. (If you have to, you can threaten law suits: legally they can't keep you if you don't want to be kept.)

Congratulations. I feel so grateful to have read your words as you have gone through this process.

Jonathan Adamson said...

Thanks guys. I definitely do not plan to meet with a bishop. If I am contacted, I will simply reaffirm what I wrote in my letter.

Anonymous said...

I came out of the closet to my wife a few years ago and we've been divorced for a little less than one year. I've met an amazing (non-LDS) man and we have been together for almost 8 months. Last week we went to Salt Lake City to visit a friend of mine (Gay ex-Mormon). While I was there I used my temple recommend (valid for two more months) and did an endowment session at the SL temple. Couldn't resist! And honestly, I'm glad I went.

Here is the problem... I told my ex-wife (we are still friends) and she FREAKED OUT! Called the Stake President and now he is breathing down my back. I told him, "I have a current temple recommend and if you don't think I am worthy of that then you need to conduct a disciplinary counsel. And my ex-wife doesn't know what goes on in my bed room or on my dates." That got him off my back. I'm worried that they will keep pushing me... I told them I have no plans on renewing my templed rec. since I am not paying tithing.

My boyfriend is worried about me, and rightly so. I feel torn between being gay and being LDS. I still believe in much about the church but cannot deny my love for my boyfriend.
Not really looking for advice, just felt good to type it out! :-)

w. h. pugmire, esq. said...

When I went through LDS "therapy" for being queer, they had me read a pamphlet that I think must have been in use since the 1950's, in which the gay person was referred to as "the pervert" each and every time. It was that pamphlet and the complete ignorance of this church therapist concerning being gay that moved to my insistence for excommunication. I wasn't ex'd for sexual matters as I was a virgin for over a year after coming out--for me being queer is tied more to my transvestite exhibitionist tendencies. I was re-baptized in 2004 as a very obviously gay Mormon after having an overwhelming experience of prayer in which my testimony was forcefully lifted from the ashes of confusion and doubt. I would be a gutless hypocrite to deny that spiritual experience, and so I returned as an active member of the church. It ain't easy, but easy is boring. Wishing you the best on your journey of life.

InItsGrip said...

How funny and lucky that [John] was put into your life. This story put such a smile on my face to read. It's so nice to be able to meet people that you can identify with on numerous levels.

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