07 March 2012

THT: Once You Are Real

The Velveteen Rabbit:

"What is REAL?" asked the Rabbit one day, when they were lying side by side near the nursery fender, before Nana came to tidy the room. "Does it mean having things that buzz inside you and a stick-out handle?"

"Real isn't how you are made," said the Skin Horse. "It's a thing that happens to you."

"Does it hurt?" asked the Rabbit.

"Sometimes," said the Skin Horse, for he was always truthful. "When you are Real you don't mind being hurt."

"Does it happen all at once, like being wound up," he asked, "or bit by bit?"

"It doesn't happen all at once," said the Skin Horse. "You become. It takes a long time. That's why it doesn't happen often to people who break easily, or have sharp edges, or who have to be carefully kept. Generally, by the time you are Real, most of your hair has been loved off, and your eyes drop out and you get loose in the joints and very shabby. But these things don't matter at all, because once you are Real you can't be ugly, except to people who don't understand."

"I suppose you are real?" said the Rabbit. And then he wished he had not said it, for he thought the Skin Horse might be sensitive. But the Skin Horse only smiled.

"The Boy's Uncle made me Real," he said. "That was a great many years ago; but once you are Real you can't become unreal again. It lasts for always."


Shedding the facade and embracing myself has felt much like becoming "real." It is a painful process to become real, and it sometimes takes a long time... but it is also kind of magical. Once you are real, you can't become unreal again. It lasts for always.


jimf said...

> Once you are real, you can't become unreal again.
> It lasts for always.

Not for certain, but let's at least hope it makes one **resistant**
to becoming unreal again. Like a vaccination.


Anonymous said...

Loved this post! (Even though I was never such a huge fan of that book as a kid.)

jen said...

I love this book, and this would be my favorite part... Thanks for the reminder. :)

Mormon Meuk said...

Hi Jonathan,

I've just finished reading your blog (from start to finish) and want to say thank you. I truly believe reading this will help many young gay Mormons come to terms with their own situation in life.

I was lucky, the realisation that I was Gay coincided with the realisation that the LDS Church was just another man made religion. I always knew It wasn't my choice to be Gay and being told it was by someone claiming to be speaking from God just confirmed my suspicion that God had nothing to do with what they preach or say.

I got out at a very young age (though didn't come out until I was 21). I've never really looked back, until now. In January this year I got engaged to my partner of 13 years, until then I really haven't given the Mormon church a second thought. Certain key members of my family are still Mormons, but I happily ignored this until now. (I still love them... even if they are Mormons lol)

I've only very recently discovered the role the church played in Prop 8 (4 years after the fact, the news never really made the headlines in the UK). This subject is incredibly hot in my life right now, both the Australian (where I'm from) governments and the UK (I've lived in London for 20 years) governments are due to vote on Gay marriage in the very near future. I've found out the Mormon Church is actively telling it's members to canvass the politicians - in both countries - to vote against legalising gay marriage.

This has turned my complete lack of interest in the Mormon church, to absolute rage. How dare they deliberately try to obstruct my right to equality?

The Church's official position on Homosexuality has not changed and is not likely to, while I admired your early blogs, wanting to stay and try to fit in, if I'd found you 2 years ago I could have told you then, that was never going to work. There is fundamentally no place in the Mormon afterlife or this life for Gays. The sooner you come to terms with that the sooner you realise what nonsense it all is.

Anyway, just wanted to let you know, I really enjoyed your blog. Don't stop posting. If you're ever in London and want to chat to another HoExMo, look me up.



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