12 January 2011

VID: Choices for A Gay Mormon

I know I've already talked about this in my blog here... but lets face it, some people don't want to read. I won't normally post videos this often, this is just to start off. Please visit my channel and submit and vote on questions that you'd like me to address in videos or submit them as comments or via email. Also, sorry the video is so long. I think that making these little you tube videos is kind of an art... one that I haven't mastered yet.

14 comments:

Duck said...

Hi, Jonathan.

I really enjoyed this video. I was very touched by many things you said. Your vision of what you hope for yourself, with the church, is the same as mine is for me. As you said, trying to take either the gay or Mormon out of you would be next to impossible. It was that very conflict that nearly took my life.

I loved your statement that your hope with the church is that one day, they will promote healthy monogamous relationships. When I heard William Bradshaw speak at BYU about the biology of homosexuality, he talked about how parents of gay children want that very thing for their children.

(Speaking of William Bradshaw, I just remembered something- you were there, weren't you? And, you asked him a question? right at the beginning of the question section? Is that why you seemed so familiar to me on your first video? Or, am I all wrong? If so, I apologize- I guess I got you confused with someone else.)

And, your statement about gays and lesbians being chaste in their relationships reminded me of John G-W's recent post about gays and lesbians remaining celibate and chaste in their relationships- or, did I already mention this to you, also? Sorry- hard for me to keep track of what I read where...:)

I am fairly new to youtube and its workings- how exactly do I subscribe to your channel? Do I need your permission to subscribe? If I do need it, may I have it? :)

happy night! Duck

Duck said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Duck said...

I figured out how to subscribe to your youtube channel. :)

Duck said...

P.S. I know the videos I attempt to make are nothing like yours- you are out to help the MoHo community, I am out merely to post photos... :) if you would care to see any of them, let me know...

Jonathan Adamson said...

@Duck- I was at the lecture! And I did ask a question, but it was the last one... "what would you tell to someone who feels that suicide is the best option?" Nice memory :)

Also, your youtube videos are beautiful. Did you take all the photography that is shown? I think reminding the world of the beauty around us is just as important as anything I do in my videos. Especially in a time when it seems everyone is so caught up in the negative and ugly things in the world. Beauty is still out there! God is still out their! Thanks for sharing.

Duck said...

I KNEW I had seen you somewhere, but could not place it. Just tonight, when I was writing my first comment to you, this flash of remembrance came into my brain and there you were, at the W Bradshaw lecture. Wow- go figure. :) SO spiffy!! :) And, I remember your question. He was not quite sure what to say other than, please do not do it. THAT was profound.

Thank you for viewing some of my work. Yes, I took all the photography. (If you ever need or want photos done, of yourself, or with someone special, it would be an honor to take them... and I am reasonable- it is either $1,000 or free... LOL)

Duck said...

Free for my friends, that is... :)

I would like to count you as a friend.

Ned said...

Thank you for the wonderful video, Jonathan. My wife and I have been married almost 35 years and three of our children are now married. We have great kids, and we've stayed together, but there have been lots of problems and compromises. As you talked about in your video, when a gay man marries a woman, it can be hard on both partners in terms of their self-esteem. I also agree with you that I wouldn't want any of my children to marry into a mixed-orientation relationship. I think you might enjoy some of my blog entries, especially this one:

http://moho50.blogspot.com/2010/10/he-will-yet-reveal.html

Thanks again for posting your vid and that you've got ideas for more of them.

Boris said...

Thank you, Jonathan, for letting us see the face and the sincerity behind the posts on your blog! While you and I may disagree about option #1, I have no doubt about your commitment to option #4. Unfortunately, in my opinion, that is only possible if Mormon authorities accept the legitimacy of committed, monogamous gay relationships. Last month, my partner and I celebrated our (monogamous) 30th anniversary WITHOUT support from the Mormons or any other religion. Too bad, not so much for us, but for them! They (the Mormons, Catholics and fundamentalists) are missing out on something very powerful and transformative.

Jonathan Adamson said...

@Ned- Thank you so much for your insight and sharing your experience! I respect you so much for all the hard work you and your wife have chosen to put into the relationship to make it work the best you can. I cannot imagine how difficult that could be at times... or what pain both of you have had to work through. You are an amazing man.

@Boris- Of course everyone is entitled to their own beliefs. I think that you are right about option #4 to an extent. In the end, it will be the leaders that will decided how much a part of the church my future partner and I will be. However, even without the support of the church (as an organization) I still feel that I can strive to live the gospel the best way I know how. Thanks for your comments :)

LionHeart said...

I very much appreciate your video! I think gay LDS guys need to continue to share our honest thoughts so things will hopefully change one day. I also feel that I need to love and be loved. Those feelings will make me a better person. I really enjoy your blog since I relate to it quite well.

Bro. P. (Brother Parker) said...

Jonathan: Oh, you sweet Mormon boy! So refreshing. I'm a little verkempt anyway, after posting 62 posts on my new blog over the past few days, reading all the letters I received from my Helaman Sons in the field. I want so, so much for you to have all the things you hope and dream for. I can see you with a wonderful partner and having children (it isn't cheap, a friend's surrogate is pregnant with triplets and so far it has cost him $150,000!) I'd like to suggest a book: Ten Smart Things Gay Men Can Do to Find Real Love. It will give you lots of things to think about. Loving someone and making it work is a real challenge, and all the prep you can do for it will pay off. I came out after Brokeback Mountain. Divorced my wife of 43 years and have been making my way in the gay community for five years now. I'm so at the other end of life, and that is why I see so much hope in you and what you are doing. There are going to be bumps as you go along, but if you face them with the spirit you currently have, and include a sense of humor because sometimes it will get so bad it is laughable...you'll come out on the other end a winner...just as you are now. Thanx! for renewing my hope for a brighter future by being the kind of young man I would have wanted to be ... and probably was ... all those years ago, when things were a lot different and there didn't seem to be so many choices as today.

I wrestled with whether or not I wanted to help the Church with its Member Missionary work by sharing what we learned in the Youth Guides. In the end I decided that I owed it to all of my friends for the work we did in the Gardens, and if it helps families produce young men of your caliber, how could it be bad? The best of luck on your journey. We've all got your back.

Bro. P. (Brother Parker) said...

Jonathan: Gay men I know talk about 'those sweet Mormon boys' and you are definitely one of them. I used to go around to the bars and put out fliers on activist events and in every one I would meet someone who had dated a Mormon boy, been a Mormon boy, or was a Mormon boy. You represent the very best ... the kind of guy Mormon mothers clamor for their daughters to marry! I see a bright future for you with a companion and a family and success in all you do...but, it won't be easy. The Church is not our friend, and there are many members who are radically opposed to anything of the 'homosexual lifestyle.' As long as you still believe in God and Jesus Christ, rely on them to help you, but gather best friends around you and be best friends to them. Babies don't come cheap to us gay guys...my friend's surrogate is expecting triplets and it has already cost him $150,000! I wish you the best of luck, and please know that we have your back if you need us.

bradcarmack said...

Amen and amen. Thoughtful, soft-spoken, faithful, and well-reasoned. To the extent I can, I welcome same-sex couples to my ward and my pew and the temple-prep class I teach. And I am not alone.

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