28 December 2010

THT: "The New Mormon Gay"

So in the book I am reading, "Conservative Christian Identity and Same-Sex Orientation: The Case of Gay Mormons," there is a whole section on "The New Mormon Gay." I didn't know I fell into a class of Gay Mormons until now. Let me tell you a bit about this small class of people.

These people choose to accept their sexuality and be actively (to the extent that they can) LDS. According to the book, "most are urbanites and better educated than there married and celibate counterparts." They seek to urge change in the church when it comes to the way homosexuals are viewed and treated. Their reasoning is that "most Mormons, even those who are highly religious, do not believe everything the church teaches," and that the stance on homosexuality is one of those issues.

This class of gay Mormons are in a difficult position. They are often "marginalized because they are stuck between two incompatible communities." They don't agree 100% with everything the gay movement does or says and they don't agree 100% with what the church says or does with regard to homosexuality. The gay community thinks that they are crazy, ignorant, and backward for wanting to be involved with the church and the Mormon community thinks they are deviant sinners unworthy to share their company or fellowship. So they seek respect and acceptance among Mormons as homosexuals and seek respect and acceptance among the gay community for being Mormon.

This is a pretty accurate description of me. The change that I would like to see if for gay members of the church to have a healthy, spiritual support base withing the church to help them make the best choices they can living as a gay individual. Instead of turning our backs and casting them out of our congregations leaving them to find company in bars and clubs, welcome them in, give them examples of healthy gay relationships. Healthy dating. Eventually healthy marriage. If gays have chosen to live in line with their sexuality, would it not be better to help them apply the gospel in their lives the best they can? Would it not be better to encourage committed monogamous relationships that are built upon faith in Christ? I think so. And I hope that one day I can be be that kind of example.

7 comments:

apronkid said...

Doesn't not belonging fully to either community make one part of a new community altogether?

I'd like to think I fit under this "New Gay Mormon" category, though I highly doubt I'm more educated than married and celibate individuals.

I agree with your last paragraph, and hope (but remain skeptical) that the Church is slowly moving towards accepting healthy gay relationships. If the Church does reach that point, I hope it will have the impact that we'd hope it would.

What I mean is that Mormons (in my experience) tend have all sorts of sexual hang-ups and guilt problems. Even if the Church accepted homosexual couples, that's only part of the fix. Personally, I think an overhaul of how the Church teaches sexuality, and an acceptance of homosexual brothers and sisters would be necessary to bring the Church to a better place.

But now I'm rambling. I like this idea of the "New Gay Mormon." It may be hard to be stuck between two communities, but I think it's where we should be.

Ty said...

I agree 110%! And I choose to be one of those!

Andy Foree said...

I agree! I choose to be a New Gay Mormon.

Joe Conflict said...

Wow--you nailed it. Thats me, to some extent.

David Baker said...

Wow, how have I missed your blog these past few months? I too am a New Gay Mormon and thought I as one of maybe 5 who were out to their wards and active in them. Nice to meet you Gay Mormon.

bradcarmack said...

@David- there are many more open Gay Mormons than you and this blog's author. I think you and I have messaged on fb.

@Apronkid- I was just talking yesterday with my best friend about ways to improve teaching sexuality in the church and the family. I've talked with a number of people whose consensus opinion matches yours- the church does a poor job of teaching sexuality. Arguably that's not their responsibility- but the law of chastity's departure from modern morality and practice begs for training on the issue.

I have "Conservative Christian Identity and Same-Sex Orientation: The Case of Gay Mormons" in my hand right now. I checked it out from the BYU library after you mentioned it. It's 2005, which is more recent than similar others I've checked out. I haven't gotten far yet. Thanks for mentioning it!

Gay Mormon said...

@apronkid- I agree. I feel that we have unhealthy ideas about sexuality because of the way it is presented to us as youth.

@Brad- I finished it. I loved it. Enjoy.

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