Why is it so hard for so many LDS people to consider that gay people don't choose to be gay or that perhaps they have valid arguments? Why do they accept sketchy logic to give them reason to ban gay marriage? I've often wondered why it is SO hard and SO uncomfortable even for close friends to talk about and think about the morality of homosexuality. My mom helped me realize what I think is a huge reason.
When I, (a gay individual), ask for an active LDS person to understand, I am asking much more than that. It isn't my intention, but in the other person's mind, I am asking them to question the prophets, question their beliefs, question the position of the church on this issue. That is no small order. It is scary. It is huge and overwhelming. No wonder so many don't want to hear about it or talk about it.
Although I think it is sad and unfortunate that something like this would rock the foundations of their testimonies, I can understand. I was there once. But now I realize that my testimony isn't built on any man or institution... both of which will always be imperfect in this mortal existence. My testimony is built on Christ. So a question I pose that might challenge something a prophet has said has no effect on my testimony of Christ and his gospel. Today, however, most of us go to church and open our skulls to have "truth" dictated to us and poured into our heads. We don't question, we don't challenge. If it is in the lesson, it must be truth. I think this is a sad sad reality. "All is Well in Zion." Don't doubt or question anything that is said or done because "all is well."
So yes, on the one hand, I understand why people don't want to understand the plight of individuals like me. But on the other hand, I don't agree that it should be that way. I don't agree that this issue has to challenge anyone's testimony or cause them to choose between the gospel or this issue. Unfortunately, that's what the majority of people in the church feel they must do... so continued ignorance will bring continued bliss until it becomes too late. One day people might understand... but they will have regrets for the harm they've caused due to their love of ignorance and their fear of questioning. The idea that questioning leads to a loss of testimony is not doctrinally based and ignorance has never been preached by Christ.