ARG: Don't Catch the Homo!!

I must first start by saying that this is a joke that my friend began in reference to the idea that homosexuality is in someway contagious. Whenever we offer her a taste of our food or drink, she exclaims, "No! I don't wanna catch the homo! I don't wanna catch the homo!" It is interesting how we embrace the words that are meant to harm us. Mormons did it. Blacks did it. And gays do it. It is so much easier to laugh about it and turn it into a word that doesn't hurt so much.

Anyway, I must say, I'm surprised many of you haven't turned gay by reading my "gay activist propaganda." Congratulations. That is a feat worth celebrating.

Ok, in all seriousness guys- you can't CATCH homosexuality. One of the arguments that people have against gay rights is that granting them those freedoms would mean the conversion of their children to homosexuality.

Let me tell you a little about my growing up. I grew up in a family, religion, and society that not only highly values heterosexuality, but condemns homosexuality. My parents were my examples of what marriage was supposed to look like. My whole (extended) family was clear on how they viewed gay people.  My religion taught me that my salvation depended on this "normal" union of man and woman. My society's view of "happily ever after" always revolved around boy meets girl in television, film, music, and every other form of mass media you can think of. I listened to the same songs about love you did. I was familiar with all the same romantic comedies you watched. I wasn't listening and watching happily-ever-afters that included two boys or two girls. The plan for happiness in this life and the life to come has always been taught to me in terms of a traditional family. Yet here I am. A full blown gay guy even though no word had been spoken of about my happily-ever-after.

Oh how I used to wish I could "catch" heterosexuality. If only it was as simple as sharing a drink or watching a movie. But it isn't. In studies conducted on families where the parents of the children are gay (two lesbians, for example), guess what they have found? Their kids turn out as straight as they come in the proportions that hold true for all populations. Not only that, but they perform higher in school and get into less trouble and unfavorable circumstances (like sexual abuse) than their straight counterparts. Yet here we are, using their hypothetical kids to argue against the union of these two women and their ability to raise a family. You don't "catch" orientation and more than you catch eye color.

But hey, I'd still recommend washing you hands after shaking the hand of a gay person. Almost 1 out of 5 people fail to wash their hands after using the restroom. That's just gross. But don't worry. You're not gonna catch the homo.